acknowledgements and credits

another year has passed. this year was really fast paced compared with the last. i've changed a lot - so much that people constantly walk by, not remembering who i am.

the biggest influence to my change is definitely uni. i can't imagine how life would be if i didn't attend UWS.

UWS hadn't been my first choice (big surprise there). my first choice had been SCA. what you may not know is, despite my seemingly low results and UAI, SCA tripped over it's own shoe laces, hit itself over the head and generously offered me an interview. it was my one chance to present my portfolio and prove my worthiness to them.

unfortunately, i let my self esteem (which was as low as my results) get the best of me.. and i gave up on the interview. i remember sitting at home, watching the clock as the time for the interview arrived and went, along with my chances of attending SCA.

probably not one of my wisest decisions to date.. but that decision has made me who i am today. looking back at everything that has happened this year.. the people i've met, the relationships that formed, the new experiences and interests.. i can honestly say i do not regret not going to that interview.

UWS may not be some top shot uni, but for now.. it's good enough.

...while i'm at it, to all the friends i've made this year - love you all (:

feels like i'm not wearing shoes at all

first day of work today.

and it was pretty close to what i had been expecting.. smelly, boring, smelly, repetitive, smelly, intimidating.. and did i mention smelly?

is it possible to be poisoned by the plastic fumes cast by many many rubber soles and heels? if so, i should be dead. or shall die. i had to hold my breathe each time i tore open the plastic wrapping around a pair of new shoes. and when i forgot.. well, i paid the consequences.

but other than the repelling smell, i'm not bad at unwrapping shoes apparently. overall, i did okay.

well, besides the part where i walked into one of the display shelves and knocked over a few pairs of shoes.

or the part where i mixed up two different racks. one being on sale, the other not. (imagine how confused the customers were when they tried to pay only to find the price difference.)

and you know, telling my workmate, i needed to take a piss instead of, as he put it, "use the bathroom."

and i think... when i told my manager i was a uni student i asked her what did she do.. (she also didn't seem very impressed when informed her of my taste in music and that i'd never been clubbing.)

but other than all that, i think i did okay. i'll get use to the smell. and they seem to like me enough, cause my manager called soon after i left and gave me another shift for sunday. i may be complaining now, but really, i could get use to this job.

it's just like cleaning your room whilst making public announcements to a bored and unwilling audience.

i love public transport

i take back what i said about strangers. strangers CAN be nice. very nice. extremely nice. not to mention compassionate. and kind. and well, you get the idea.

today...

a man asked me if i was okay.

a woman offered me her coke (cola).

her friend offered tissues.

a baby offered me a single toothed smile.

another man gave me a thumbs up, "things will be okay."

his companion offered more friendly and encouraging smiles.

an elderly man handed me a card for a church, "don't hesitate to ask for help. god bless you."

but really, all the help i needed had been already been offered to me.

thank you, strangers.

don't talk to strangers

you can call me naive, but that's probably considered the nicer way of putting it. i still can't believe these things actually occur in real life. it always seemed like such a cliched scene from a book or movie. but then again, most fiction is based off reality isn't it?

it feels like reality has slapped me across the face and told me to get real.

well, advice heard and taken, reality.










she gingerly slid the book back in to place amongst the others, before gleefully pulling out the next volume in the series. this had been a long awaited moment. she fingered the paper edges slowly, taking the time to admire the pleasing cover art before opening to allow herself to be immersed in to the plot.

a figure approached,"excuse me" it said.

she looked up.

it smiled, "i'm not very familiar with this genre." and gestured towards the stoic shelves filled with gratifying manga. "any reccomendations?"

reccomendations? she lifted the book she had been engrossed in before it's interruptive appearance. "this is my favourite."

all it took was one response.

immediately it evolved into a monster. an intimidating monster with the capabilities to release infinite amounts of venom concieved from descriptions, exclamations and questions. constantly words were being thrown. all serving the purpose of prying further responses from her.

after an excessive amount of unnecessary one-sided conversation, it paused to catch it's breathe for a brief moment before continuing, "i know this nice dessert place near wynyard. i've been meaning to try it for ages now but haven't had the chance to go. would you care to join me?"

"sorry, my friends are waiting for me."

"well if we sneak out now, they'll never know. how about it?"

"no thank you."

"how about tomorrow? can i count on seeing you there at three?"

"i'm busy tomorrow."

"how about thursday?"

"sorry."

"oh... well, it was nice meeting you."

...and the monster hesitantly retreated.

she released a breathe she had not realised she had been holding in. she stared at it's retreating back, fearful it would change it's mind and return. it did not.

then after a moment of hesitation,

she promptly, fled.

secretly...

i get extremely nervous when i meet new people. i mean like, a whole group of new people.

or.. you know.. a whole group of old people who have forgotten who i am because i was always so quiet and non-existant in class.

and to top it all off, i have to wear heels and the weather will be fuhreakinggg hot. #(%*(#% !

i'm not a princess, this ain't a fairytale

i feel inclined to blog because today is friday the 13th. nothing had has happened so far, well besides waking at at 1.30 and eating a shit load of chicken nuggets. so much for being healthyyyy.

i finally finally finallyyyyy finished the princess diaries series. HAHA, laugh if you want but i think meg cabot is my hero and mia thermopolis is my best friend. the 10th book has been released for ageesssss but i never realised cause i haven't been following since i stopped my weekly trips to the library after i started uni.

so i was at borders yesterday to see if they had inuyasha 40 (to my disappointment, they didn't. YOU ARE BEHIND, BORDERS). instead i wandered off to the kids section and i saw all these books i use to love. (captain underpants, anyone?) either way, totally reminded me of TPD, so i just had to go and find it. it was in the 'young adult' section and i got hooked the moment i picked it up.

you might think my attatchment to TPD is silly, but it was like THE book when i first entered high school.

high school was pretty lame for me. i spent most of seventh, eighth and ninth grade lunchs cooked up in the library reading. why? cause i'm gay LOL.

either way, TPD is the book(s) that have been with me allllll through highschool. the book progressed with me, we grew together. i was 12 and mia was a freshman and now i'm 18 and so is mia.

good books are ones that draw you in completely. you enter the world of the book, you relate to the characters and you feel what the protagonist feels. i read alot. but it's rare i can completely escape reality and just dive in to a book. which is why TPD is so awesome ♥ !

ahhhhh, this makes me miss highschool a little.

blue.

curious and curioser

starting around the end of last month, i've been getting random phone calls from an "unknown" caller with no number.

i always either miss the call(s) or i pick up, say hello and they hang up straight away. at first i didn't really put much thought into these calls and didn't really care. i pretty much forgot them once i put the phone down.

last night i picked up a call at 2AM, also from an unknown number, and had a two minute converation of which i remember little of. i just remembering asking who the caller was and they replied that they were from my uni and their name was peter. after i told them i didn't know any peters from uni they hung up on me. i swear the voice sounded so familiar, but i just can't figure out who it is. oh, and they also asked me if i was on drugs. (i wasn't, i was just dead sleepy.)

i'm not even sure if it's the same person who repeatedly calls and no clues to who it is either. then again, i don't really care that much.

i'm just curious.

hello summer, you're fat

today was the first real day of proper summer, 35 degrees and absolutely fucking hot. how on earth do people survive in such dramatic heat ? i spent most of the day taking refuge in the library. avoiding any possible chances of being burnt.

lately i've been trying to get in to the whole healthy thing. but my love for sugar and saturated fats is constantly getting in the way. it also doesn't help that maccas seems to be practically available everywhere. macca is like the ex i never want to see again yet annoyingly keeps re-appearing in my life, at parra there are three of them, at penrith there is one, at werrington there is another, at carlingford there's one. oh man, if maccas was my ex, i'd totally take him back.

staying healthy is damn hard with so many temptations around. it use to be easy to avoid junk since my local shopping center, north rocks "westfield", doesn't offer any. which is probably why i've only just realised how incredibly unhealthy i am. but due to uni and friends, i'm constantly travelling and getting major exposure to junk food.

not good.

i need some more motivation.

ALOT more.

PS.
keep telling jenny an she's a princess.

epilogue

don't! don't let me go! it's not the enddddddd whoaaaaa
girl, you know it's not so bad !
it's not the enddddddd, whoaaaa, you know it's not the end.

man is back
without ham.

(: